Last night, for a bit of fun, my friend and I decided to watch the worst film we could find. After some deliberation, and dismissing films like The Happening and Don't Mess with the Zohan, we came up with Batman and Robin. Oh Joel Schumacher, what were you thinking? It's an absolute disaster from the opening seconds, but at least it produced a few amused scoffs.
Not being one to readily surrender myself to awful films, here are 9 more recent-ish films that spring to mind for being nothing short of atrocious (no, I haven't seen Battlefield Earth):
Freddy Got Fingered - Unbearable.
The Room - The Citizen Kane of bad movies? Too right. Hey, it's also the most fun you will have in a cinema.
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen - A tough choice between this and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. They came out a week apart in 2009. I saw both.
Clash of the Titans - What were Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes thinking? The worst use of 3D I have seen in a film to date too.
Your Highness - You can read my review here. Nothing works. Nothing at all.
Wild Wild West - It does star Salma Hayek, but that giant spider thing is just too much.
Max Payne - Why do studios endeavour making films based on video games? Or theme park rides for that matter...
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - The most anticlimactic final battle in the history of cinema.
Armageddon - More Bay. Why not?
So, what is the worst film you have ever put yourself through?
The Worst Film of All-Time?
ReplyDeleteThat's easy. Pearl Harbor. I'm kind of a history buff and I like to watch films about historical events. Oh man. This would make me loathe Michael Bay for all eternity. It's bad enough to put a lame, overwrought love story in the middle of the movie. Then he, Jerry Bruckheimer, and screenwriter Randall Wallace (who I'm sure wasn't happy with the final product) had to take liberties with some of the historical elements of the film.
There was also some inaccuracies I was pointing out and the scene where Roosevelt (played by an overblown Jon Voight) rises from his wheelchair looked ridiculous. The Doolittle Raid was badly executed with dialogue that made everyone sound like morons. Um, didn't they know the Japs were in China already?
And then there was the entire attack itself. Shooting from the viewpoint of a bomb dropping onto the Arizona is just downright sick.
I'm sorry but oh man, I could rant about that film for ages. Everything Bay did after this along with Armageddon before that makes me a hater. Except I loathe that motherfucker. Oh!!!!
And the rest of those movies in that list. Yeah, they're crap.
I want to add The Spirit, Gentlemen Broncos, Running with Scissors, and The Heartbreak Kid (2007 remake) to that list.
Why? Why would you subject yourself to this movie? Why?????
ReplyDeleteI second your "Armageddon" nomination. Everything that is wrong with Hollywood can be found right there.
I don't even want to know what Freddie Got Fingered is ..
ReplyDeleteThere's so many to choose from, but nothing really stands out for me except ... The Hottie & The Nottie, produced by Paris Hilton!
The Hottie and the Nottie, most definitely!!!!
ReplyDeleteWithout doubt, 1 Day. I was so looking forward to it when it came out (a Grime musical, why had it not been done before?) but it was an absolute disaster from start to finish.
ReplyDeleteI have honestly never been so sickened by a film as much as that one before. Every single stereotype of a black person was thronw in there in about 90 minutes. It was just beyond awful.
And I think we can all safetly say, us with any sanity will avoid anything Michael Bay has directed like the plague.
@ Steven - Absolutely, Pearl Harbour. Apart from The Rock (a guilty pleasure) and the first Transformers, I absolutely loathe everything by that guy.
ReplyDelete@ Nick - I remember watching it years ago and thinking it was horrible. That was when I was young and liked everything though. I just had to see it again and thought it would at least be more entertaining than something like The Happening. It was so bad..it was actually quite fun!
@ Anna and Stevee - I have never heard of The Hottie and the Nottie. For one, it has an atrocious title, and two its produced by Paris Hilton. Certainly one to avoid :-p
@ Cherokee - 1 Day? Haven't heard of that either, but it sure sounds like a disaster. There are so many bad films out there, we all came up with something different.
This one's hard, I tend to avoid watching films like that in the first place.
ReplyDeleteLooking back through the comments, the only one of these films I've actually seen is Armageddon and I was completely drunk before during and after the screening. So truthfully I don't even remember it being that bad.
Not to imply that any of the above selections are necessarily "good" films, but being an avid Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan has exposed me to some truly deplorable material that makes every other movie mentioned so far look like high art by comparison. That's because they all have some (albeit small) redeeming value.
ReplyDeleteMy pick for worst film is Manos: The Hands of Fate. It's hard to sit through even with MST3K's comedic commentary. Every single thing that goes wrong went wrong. The pacing is always off, the acting is atrocious, the budget is poor (some say that shouldn't matter but this movie proves that it does), the "horror" is non-existant, the music is maximum generic, and some scenes are completly pointless.
It once held the number one spot on IMDB's Bottom 100 list but currently ranks at number four. (The Hottie and the Nottie is number thirty-five.)
http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom
I'm going to have to go with Manos as well. Honorable mention to Blood Waters of Dr. Z. I recently watched it via MST3K as well, and it is not only stupid but also unbelievably boring, even with MST3K commentary.
ReplyDeleteI'm not usually a fan of "so bad they're FREAKING AWESOME" movies, but The Room, Plan 9 From Outer Space, and the little known 1989 flick Sinbad of the Seven Seas all deserve mention for that as well. They're probably the most poorly-made films ever... but they can never get my vote for worst because they make me laugh so much.
Inspired by your post, I decided to pop in my blu-ray copy of Batman & Robin last night, and I even wrote a review of it:
ReplyDeletehttp://crabhoward.blogspot.com/2011/06/frosty-foes-and-stem-fatales.html
Would be great if you could check it out :)
Despite it's MANY faults, B&R would NOT make my list (maybe it's nostaglia fogging my opinion, but I don't hate it), whereas The Happening most definately WOULD, as would City of the Living Dead.
The Ex with Zach Braff is a deplorable wast of talent, while Observe and Report was a woeful waste of time, too.
I recently had the 'pleasure' of watching The Room, and while it undoubtedly is TERRIBLE, it's also bizzarely enjoyable in a so-bad-it's-laughable kinda way!
~ CR@BHoward
http://crabhoward.blogspot.com
@ Bonjour - I think being drunk is the only way I could have tolerated Armageddon.
ReplyDelete@ Ian - Manos: The Hands of Fate is a film I have not seen, but judging by its 1.5 rating (from 20,000 votes) it looks like it is the one.
@ Hannah - I don't usually like those sort of films either, but The Room is certainly a must-see for that reason. Thanks for stopping by Hannah.
@ Cr@b Howard - I feel honoured to have inspired your post. The Happening is absolutely terrible. Observe and Report? Hmm, I missed that at the cinema (luckily). We could go on and on i guess!
Thanks for the responses everyone.
The Vanquisher. Usually i can find 1 or 2 elements in a film that i can enjoy, but this had nne. The directing was bad, the script was bad(Especially in regards to character development), the acting was bad, and the only good fight scene was at the end.
ReplyDeleteI also found All-Star Superman rather horrible, but it has a lot of positive reviews on imdb and one blogger i know disagreed with me on it, so maybe i'm in the minority on that one
a) Freddy Got Fingered is our generaton's Un Chien Andalou.
ReplyDeleteb) You have to see The Room on the big screen.
c) Armaggedon is on Criterion because of some deal Michael Bay brokered with Disney to get the Wes Andersons on Criterion. Also, I was 10 when I saw this movie. I thought Deep Impact was better. And I was 10, I thought everything was good.
I know, I thought everything was good back then too. It took me a second watch to decide that Pearl Harbour wasn't. I saw Armageddon years after its cinema release, ugh. I have seen The Room in the cinema, and it was good fun indeed.
ReplyDeleteHave you listened the recent LAMBcast? Nick and Jason (i think) recreate the rooftop scene in The Room, but impersonating Arnie and Clint Eastwood in the roles. Hilarious.
Bruno, it disgusted me from start to finish, and left me amazed as I had found a film I hated/was worse than Home Alone 4
ReplyDeleteI despised Bruno too. But I haven't seen Home Alone 4. Thanks for the comment Pete!
ReplyDeleteNo probs. Home Alone 4 was a TV film made for Christmas, and the idea of a cold Christmas dinner appeals more than watching that film again.
ReplyDelete